Day 4

<< I am the girl who always loses, that girl who pretends to smile, who seems to be strong but who is instead broken inside. I am that type of girl who always smiles and seems not having any problem, that girl who keeps back her tears until you hung up the phone after saying you: "Don't worry, I'm fine". I am actually waiting for someone who really cares and someone who would answer me: "No, you aren't". >>

Today, while doing my homework I got distracted (as usual) and I found that text in my notes from last year.

Once again I must say that I am very happy to break up with Alex, he hurt me. I was always waiting for some day when he miraculously would change, but he only changed when he knew that I wanted to break up with him and then he used to turn back to the way he was. Two years trying to hold it up and suffering were too much. I tried to break up with him but, he was always in my mind and under my skin. I tried to forget him again and again but he always came back. I felt like I couldn't run away. My love for him ran deeply.

He was made to make it hurt. I thought he was my weakness and my downfall but now he isn't.

One day (not so long ago) I just woke up (in a figurative way, of course) and thought "had enough!" I realized that the only important thing is me. I must love myself not like a narcissistic, just like a normal girl who knows what she is worth. Would a girl who knows what she is worth hold that situation up? The answer  is obviously no, she wouldn't. Now in my mind only exist me, myself and I! So, I would replace the above text by a new one:

<< My pain has been extinguished; now I can finally breathe. I got tired of crying, from this moment I will not pretend to smile; I WILL BE smiling because I am happy. Sometimes you just have to let go of the past, if not it could hurt a beautiful future and my future is on blank, ready for new stories and adventure. For me, you will only be a page of my diary, and nothing more than that. >>